just friends

after reading a blog entry written by a close friend and family member, i realized that i too follow in his path of having the fear of failure. ever since i can rememember, i have worried about not being able to complete this, or not being able to stack up to that...i never put myself into a position that would test my limits, i only entered into the life's events that would give me a distinct advantage and a high probability of success. what will that do to a person when a situation arises that he can not handle? nothing good

an excellent example would be how i am currently dating the girl of my dreams because i had the guts to go over to her and ask her out. yes exactly, now replace the word 'dating' with 'thinking about' and 'had' with 'didn't have'...thats about right. i think i have set myself into thinking "what would a beautiful girl like that like about a soft-spoken 'nice guy' like myself?" i mean that only makes sense, to have all the beautiful girls go for all the punks and jerks out there?!? oh wait, no it doesn't, i am going about things all wrong, i will never get her, whomever she may be, whenever she may come around, with an attitude of failure. a friend said to me just the other day, "those who are confident about their ability tend to succeed, while those who are preoccupied with failing tend to fail" unfortunately when it comes to certain areas i fall in the latter of the two categories.

this is where the heading comes into play. because of my amazing ability to not do anything about any girl that i have had a 'middle school' crush on, i fall, as the movie states, into every guys worst nightmare, the friends zone. oh this isn't a bad thing, for the most part, but when you end up in this zone with a person that you are dying to take out sometime, it is your worst nightmare. the plus side of this friends zone is, next year i am living with four girls, and so most likely my house will be clean, smell good (we all know how guys smell when they live together), and girls have other friends that are girls.

this entry is a work in progress and will probably be updated again before i am completely finished with it, so if it seems like it ends abruptly, it does